10.11.2011

STORYTELLERS: Leaves Floating in Mud

We walked through the park today, soaking in drizzle and golden hues of Autumn.  Because my girls stopped to admire soggy red leaves, bigger than our faces, floating in puddles, I stopped too.  And I heard myself say, "Why do we have to admire all the beautiful red leaves on the ground instead of in the trees?"

The leaves on the trees are still mostly green, some turning yellow-ochre, still a few brilliant yellow.  I saw hardly any red ones still hanging from branches; instead, they were scattered at our feet, brilliant against the mud.

The beauty of the scene obviously made an impression on me, but in that moment, I whined I  wanted to see the leaves in the treetops, dancing in the breeze and glistening with raindrops.

look down

But didn't I take this picture only days ago?  And wasn't I the one who added that text to the photo--"look down!"  Wasn't I the one whose fingers tingled as I tapped out that reminder, tickled with new possibilities of capturing on film the beauty amidst the grunge of life?

Where was my heart today?  I guess it was down there in the mud with the leaves.  And you know what?  That's ok too.  Because that deep, rich soil is where seeds of hope germinate in darkness.  And seeds are only seeds because they are meant for more, just as darkness is only darkness because of the blinding Light that breaks through to overwhelm it.

THIS is why I create: to inspire others, to share joy, yes.  But more often these days it's to inspire me, to remind myself of the good things, to shout Truth to Sarah in moments when she's dancing in the treetops, so that echoes of that Truth will still be resounding later, even if only in a whisper, when she's flat on her back, floating in the mud.

Would really appreciate some healing thoughts and prayers, friends.  I'm struggling health-wise (which is something I honestly hardly ever admit even to my closest friends and family) and have been literally flat on my back for the good part of a week with a flare-up of Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia symptoms.  I hate to say those words out loud (or type them, I guess).  But since sometimes I refer in my posts to struggles with inspiration or motivation, I thought it might be good to confront the reality of what often causes these struggles--which is me, not resting enough, not taking care of myself, not loosening up on this ridiculous pressure I put on myself.  There it is in print--the truth.  Your thoughts and prayers are most appreciated, and I am so thankful for this little "home" in cyberspace that time and time again,  feels like such a safe place to work out my "stuff."  




14 comments:

  1. Sadee, I had no idea that you have CFS and Fibromyalgia.

    I do too. My health issues began back in October of 2009. I'm so sorry to learn that you have these health issues too.
    And, I will definitely be praying for you!

    I know what being flat on your back most of the week with a flare-up feels like.

    *hugs*

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  2. I was traveling when you posted so I'm a little late linking up today. I'm sorry you're dealing with health stuff. I imagine it'd be difficult to deal with either of those issues, let alone both. I'll be praying for you and hope you are up off your back soon!

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  3. I love your post -- your photo is a brilliant reminder that beauty is everywhere, even in the midst of all the "stuff" we live with. Hold that thought! Best wishes for improved health...

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  4. just whispered a little prayer for you.

    it's not storytelling, per se, but my link does deptict a moment of story-journey for my soul.

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  5. this is an inspirational photo and a gentle reminder that there is beauty all around if only we have eyes to see it

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  6. Thank you all for reading and understanding. You are an encouragement to me! :) Oh, and the sun is shining today, which always goes a long way in cheering me up! Think I might even get out the paints this afternoon.

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  7. So sorry Friend. Wish I was there to make you some homemade chicken noodle soup and ply you with homemade herbal concoctions....sending you love.

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  8. I'm glad you get to enjoy a bit of a sunshiny day!

    Thanks for your comment response on my blog. I left a reply over there for you. =)

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  9. Hi Sarah D.
    new to your blog...seen you over at Rain's place...the storytelling intrigued me so I came over and linked up...it is an older one but hopefully one that will be received here

    love and light

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  10. ps sending you healing thoughts along with that love and light

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  11. Praying, praying, praying sweet friend. So glad you reached out for our love and prayers today!

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  12. oh sadee. i am praying for you. i love the picture of the leaves on the ground, and i understand, wanting them to be on the trees... love to you. xo

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  13. Hoping and praying things will improve soon and you can/will give your body what it needs for healing. I struggled with CFS during the first two to three years of our marriage.

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  14. Sad that I am just now reading of your relapse. I was diag with lyme disease in 2006 and have wrestled with similar complaints as well- coming out of a hard bout again. The texture and color in this photo are gripping. Very inspiring.

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Thank you for being kind with your words and generous with your time!